I woke up thinking this morning thinking about my "career wandering" since leaving the counseling field...the attempt at a reiki practice, the stint as an aide for the developmentally disabled, and the receptionist positions I've gone through.
It dawned on me just how much I used to tend to beat myself up for not having "landed" in something solid and steady. And then I thought of this quote by Erika Harris...
And it got me thinking. I left the field because I had to, because it no longer felt right. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing more sacred than witnessing the story of another, nothing. But I needed to begin to pay attention to my own story in a new way.
And so I set off to do that despite the risks and I wandered for a while...lost.
I've never really let it sink in...just how Brave that really is (how often do we really give ourselves any credit?) and the ways in which I continue to do that daily.
Because although some parts of me have landed, I'm still wandering in a sense and now I find myself amidst color, messiness, and immense joy.
I don't know exactly where that will lead me, but I know this...I'm now paying attending to my story...better than that...I'm an active participant in creating it through paint and clay and words and that is "landing" enough for me.