Everywhere and Nowhere...a Mermaid Story
I finished a painting this weeek. I started it about two months ago but walked away after beginning to feel unsure of its direction.
It started like this.
And then got to this.
After a few more layers, this happened, because I had no idea what the hell I was doing anymore at that point.
On the particular day I started this painting, I was contemplating solitude. I love nothing more than to be alone, in my head, working out my thoughts, emotions, and inner revelations with paint. It is my communion time with God.
I was also thinking that I wanted to try something new and felt like I was going in the same direction I did with every other painting...simple and safe. In my frustration, I covered everything up with a layer of payne's grey.
I instantly regretted the payne's grey so I began to wipe it off with a paper towel and a figure seemed to appear on the canvas.
I began to define it a bit and she started to look like a mermaid.
I wasn't really sure what to make of it because I had never really painted a mermaid. But I gave it a shot.
I defined her some more. I added texture with modeling paste, stamps, stencils, and alcohol inks. And for some reason I gave her wings flecked with mica chips.
A mermaid with wings didn't quite make sense to me. Neither did the words that kept popping into my head..."she belonged everywhere and nowhere".
As a result of this, I stopped trusting the process and I got stuck.
But I thought about her each time I walked by the canvas. I tried to figure out her story because I knew it was my story.
What would it feel like to be a mermaid with wings; to be able to swim into the depths of the ocean and then soar up to the stars; to inhabit both worlds without needing to belong to one or the other?
I went back to the canvas with my thoughts a few weeks later. I realized not much needed to change with the painting. It was I that needed to change before I could finish it. I needed to work more on my "trust". Surprise.
And this is where she ended up.
I like this mermaid's story because it's my story and perhaps yours.
"She belongs everywhere and nowhere. She has wings and a fin. She can swim deep down into the depths and soar high up to the stars. She walks both worlds, without a need to belong to either. She belongs to God."